We are all heartless monsters. All so preoccupied with ourselves that we never consider the unsung heroes that get lonely when we are gone.
They hold your papers together, making you look professional. Was it you who scored that amazing job, or was it your stapler?
They stick your posters and photos to the wall, brightening your space, making you smile when you enter a room. Is it you who is such an individual, or is it your stapler?
And how do we thank them?
By leaving them on our desks, alone and lonely, for hours on end. No one to make them feel important or loved. How would you feel?
So do something nice for your stapler. Let it staple some cool documents, like about spaceships or something. Give them a groovy moustache sticker.
Have some respect or your gosh darn stapler. After all, it holds your life together.