2016, humour, life, writing

New Year, Old Me

And so, 2016 is about ready to be flushed down the toilet.

I won’t whinge about how awful it was. You know how awful it was. Everyone knows how awful it was.

I’m not entirely finished being angry about the events of the year, but I am ready to climb into 2017 and dig for gold.

New Year’s Resolutions are notorious for making you feel guilty about your lack of willpower. I do it anyway, because I’m obstinate, but I’m not climbing into a new skin this year like so many try to. My skin is okay with me.

So: resolutions based on renovations, instead of knock-down-rebuild.

1. Stop apologising for my coffee order just because it’s long to say and kind of pretentious. I am a barista – it’s not actually hard to make. I’m paying for the coffee. The apology is unnecessary.

2. Stop ducking my head when I walk past people. It’s almost like I’m ashamed to look people in the eye, or ashamed of people looking me in the eye. Honestly, it probably comes off as being rude. Stop doubting that I’m worth looking at.

3. Stop swearing when I don’t need to be swearing. Like when I’m not angry, just mild annoyed. Also: improve vocabulary of angry words.

4. Start accumulating healthy self care practices. Like going for walks. Not like browsing Facebook for two hours.

5. Start showing more daily compassion. I live one time. My friends deserve to know that I love them.
I think 5 is as many as I can realistically manage. And that’s okay with me.

2017 might be shit. We can’t predict anything, really. But I’m working on me this year, and hopefully everything else will fall into place. Or it won’t, and I can practice being okay with that.

I have 11 minutes to go, and some profanities to yell into the void.

Have a very happy new year.

Xx Loony

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2016, Uncategorized

A New Year

Happy New Year!

And so we all make puzzled faces at one another as we question how another year sailed past so quickly. Just like that, we’re in 2016.


 

My New Year’s Resolutions (Placed on the Internet to Hold Me Accountable):

  • Get my mental health up to scratch
  • Ask for help when I need it
  • Put more effort into the blog
  • Learn that perfection isn’t achievable
  • A few personal goals pertaining to soccer and competitions

 

The reason I’m posting this a week from the actual start of the year is because this is when I would usually give up on my resolutions, if I had made any in the first place. Too busy, too bored, too much effort, these have all been my excuses, and I’m guessing they’ve been yours at some point too. The fact that I’m posting means I haven’t fallen off the bandwagon yet – and I don’t plan to. 

In recent year’s I’ve held less and less value to New Year’s resolutions, believing them to be a waste of time when we all give up on them three weeks down the track. Just because we change the calendar doesn’t mean we’re all reborn, sort of thing.

But upon pondering, I think New Year’s resolutions embody something we all need to remember, all year round, and that is the power of a fresh start. The look and feel of a clean slate. Sure, I was disorganised last year, sure I didn’t exercise as much as I should have, I get it. But if the New Year symbolises anything it’s a new beginning, and ignoring the marketability of it all, and ignoring the exploitation and the undeniable cliche, I’m taking this new beginning and I’m running with it.

Too often, we get stuck in this rut in life – with our studies, our work, our health, our happiness – and we stay there and stew ourselves into a puddle of misery. Getting out of the rut and starting anew is daunting in the middle of June.

I think we should all feel like we can start afresh anytime, but I’ll just hop down off my unicorn and say that I understand that it’s scary. I understand that life is overwhelming and change is difficult, no matter how inevitable. Yes, New Year’s is filled with marketing gimmicks to con you into buying more kale, and the oppressive feelings of disappointment from society when you decide that kale isn’t really your thing. But if you need an excuse to start again, and we all do sometimes, a new year is the perfect opportunity.

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Uncategorized

Pruning My Life

There are two words hanging around my head and my life that I don’t need anymore. Not because they’re inherently bad, and please don’t thing that if you’ve used these words with me, that it was necessarily a mistake. It’s just that in light of a new year approaching, I need to prune my life, a little bit. So.

Cute
The word ‘cute’ is perfectly fine for puppies, and little heart-shaped erasers, and other small, vulnerable things. But I don’t like seeing myself as small or vulnerable. I like strong better. I like determined better. I like crazy, weird, wacko, psycho, odd, better. Anything but cute, really, because it makes me feel underestimated, and I’m not down with that. I work too hard and I strive too far and I do too much to settle for cute.

Enough
Sorry, kids, but this word is bullshit. We all know it. It always seems to have a question mark on the end when it’s floating around my head.
“Have I studied enough?”
“Is this good enough?”
“Am I working hard enough?”
“Did I say sorry enough?”
“Am I enough?”

And when it gets down to answer time, I always come up with, “I’m not enough.”

I’m over it.

Just so you know, both you and I are enough, and that’s the last time I’ll use the word, because we are more than that.

We are significant.
We are loved.
We are outstanding.
We are such majestic displays of sparkling wonder that our rainbow-glitter capes glint in the sun and blind the haters.

I’m not just cute. I’m not just enough.

I am – we all are – more than this. I mean, if you like these words, go ahead, good luck to you. I’m just saying, don’t settle for imperfect adjectives.

Oh yes, that would make a great bumper sticker.

Xx Loony

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