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Let’s Talk Vegemite

Hiya!!

I feel as an Aussie, I have an obligation to you all to strip poor, beloved Vegemite of its stigma and shame. Here are 3 myths and 3 facts about this tasty spread.

Myth #1: All Australians live on Vegemite.
It’s true, most of us like Vegemite. Most of us. There are still people who hate the stuff. Also, we aren’t really that addicted. It’s not weird.

Myth #2: It’s just salty Nutella.
You’re eating it wrong. Spread it like Nutella and you will legit die.

Myth #3: Vegemite chocolate is Australian’s new favourite thing.
Let’s be real here; tried it a few days ago, concluded it tastes like salted caramel but more Australian, ate more, very happy. There were also people around me who detested it. Unique tastebuds, people. 

Now for some real talk.

Fact #1: ALL YOU SILLY PEOPLE EATING IT ON TV AS A JOKE, STOP.
This includes YouTube, Vine and Instagram. Unless you are an Aussie, it is likely that you aren’t trained in the art of eating Vegemite, and it saddens me when people do it wrong and then criticize Oz.
Step 1, make toast. Step 2, butter the toast. Step 3, spread a LITTLE Vegemite on it. You should still be able to see your toast. Stop putting it on spoons, you lot. No one does that.

image from www.reddit.com

CORRECT. Image from http://www.reddit.com

Fact #2: Tastes great with avocado, tomato and/or cheese.
On a sandwich or toast. Or bread roll. Or sourdough. Or a wrap.

Fact #3: It cures a number of ailments.
The high salt content makes it good for mouth ulcers (stings a LOT but what can you do) as well as being the perfect food for when you have a stomach bug, flu or cold.

Vegemite really is great, you just gotta know your facts. Mate.

Xx Loony

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Uncategorized

Silly Questions

Hiya!!

I’ve stumbled upon some interesting quotes and the like that fill me right up with joy – quotes about living life and being unique and things. This got me thinking about how the silly questions can sometimes tell you a lot about a person and their life experiences. So I devised a list of questions – mostly strange and delightful – that I will be answering, and passing on.

What is your opinion on hats?
I don’t mind hats on the whole, they just look awful on me. I have short hair that gets sweaty and flat and ew when I clamp a hat on.. but if you like wearing hats, go ahead. A-HEAD, get it??
If you had to wear an animal on your head for the rest of your life, what animal would it be?
A hedgehog, for multiple reasons. 1, I believe hedgehogs to be very motivating and inspirational little buddies who would encourage me with their little squeaky voices; 2, I’m pretty sure those little fuzzy bellies are warm and snuggly and my beanie comes with a massage feature so come at me; 3, because having a small, spiky ninja on your head is badass and we could rule the world.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Flight. I don’t know how, with wings probably (and preferably.) I’ve been trying to manage flying since I was 2, so yah, flight. 
What are your favourite and least favourite words?
Ooooooh. For favourite I’d say something juicy like ‘despise’. So much richer than ‘hate,’ no? Or something silly like ‘fickle.’ I don’t know least favourite but I do always say ‘bathroom’ instead of ‘toilet’ when the topic arises. ‘Toilet’ sounds vulgar. 
If regular walking in public was illegal, how would you get places?    
I would skip. Obviously.

I would like to pass on these questions to the beautiful Z, of I Prefer Deep Blues and Sea Foam Greens (https://deepbluesandseafoamgreens.wordpress.com/) and the cool MrFancyAnimator over at InternetSquared (https://internetsquared.wordpress.com/), and you guys can pass them on when you’re done too. Can’t wait to see what you guys come up with!!

:)

Xx Loony

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guide, humour, Uncategorized

Snowboarding – How To

Hiya!!

So today I went on a snow trip with my school. Being a hipster gangster bro (lol no) I snowboard, instead of skiing. All my friends ski, and always get annoyed with me for taking ages to strap in and stuff (by ‘stuff’ I mean constantly falling over, even when I’m not actually moving). So, in aid of new snowboarders and those who want to laugh at us, here is:

Loony’s Guide to Snowboarding!!

1. Prepare for the snow to whoop your butt like an over-friendly drunk guy at a party. You will fall. You will fall often. You will fall hard. Your butt will hurt. For those who aren’t aware, snowboarders spend about 30% (*cough 50*) of their time on the ground, swearing. Do not expect to be fabulous. Do not schedule tennis for the next day. DO say, ‘Sorry, becoming a unicorn is affecting my balance’ to anyone you accidentally knock over.

2. Aggravate skiiers. Always. Skiiers are the WORST. Slide over their skiis, knock them over (not the five-year-old ones obviously), and yell ‘Watch out!’ at random moments. We aren’t being mean, it’s just that skiiers are SO DAMN FUNNY when they’re on the ground. Like when you put a spider in a cup to relocate it, and it loses its mind trying to escape. Read: skiiers are like spiders.

3. Have fun. Everyone will tell you this, but they won’t tell you that a lot of your fun has nothing to do with the actual riding. My friends and I like having fun on chairlifts, yelling things at people below (skiiers). Our favourites are ‘Hey! You’ve dropped your pocket!’ Or the coy ‘Hey! Call me!’ (don’t forget the creepy smile.) Clapping for people who’ve stacked is great fun too. Or trying to get as many randoms to wave at you as possible. (My friend and I are on 63.)

What do you like doing at the snow?

Until next time,

Xx Loony

Disclaimer: I actually don’t hate skiiers that much. However, being a snowboarder requires me to heckle them at every opportunity. It’s the rules.

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