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Thinking Dinosaur

I have a dinosaur.

 

His name is Trevor, but my dad calls him Steve. I haven’t a clue why.

 

He’s much like a support animal.

 

He’s my thinking dinosaur.

 

I managed to get through a nation-wide exam (NAPLAN, anyone?) with him on my desk.

 

I am a bit of a rebel sometimes. What with my illegal dinosaurs.

 

Funnily enough, he made the exam somewhat less awful.

 

Tiny plastic dinosaurs can do that, apparently.

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Staplers

We are all heartless monsters. All so preoccupied with ourselves that we never consider the unsung heroes that get lonely when we are gone.

 

Our staplers.

 

They hold your papers together, making you look professional. Was it you who scored that amazing job, or was it your stapler?

They stick your posters and photos to the wall, brightening your space, making you smile when you enter a room. Is it you who is such an individual, or is it your stapler?

 

And how do we thank them?

 

By leaving them on our desks, alone and lonely, for hours on end. No one to make them feel important or loved. How would you feel?

 

So do something nice for your stapler. Let it staple some cool documents, like about spaceships or something. Give them a groovy moustache sticker.

Have some respect or your gosh darn stapler. After all, it holds your life together.

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If Aliens Discovered Netflix

“Mum, what’s this on the 4D Slide Screen?”

“I don’t know, Squegtrill. It is probably picking up residual nova frequencies again.”

“Kwelgrup’s did this too. They had to get a new one, a 5D V.2 Switchback. They’re so new, all the celebrities have them. And not too expensive either.”

“We’ve had this discussion, Squegtrill. We aren’t getting a new screen until Sandy is 400. Sandy’s still got 54 Slarks to go.”

“Yeah, I know. Hey, what’s this say? ‘Pretty Little Liars?’”

“I don’t know. Try scrolling through.”

“This one says ‘Orange is the New Black.’ Looks like Uncle Grigflep’s house. But with aliens.”

“Where’s all the usual programming gone?”

“I dunno. Hey, this one’s called ‘Phineas and Ferb.’ The pictures are all… wibbly wobbly.”

“Try turning it off and on again.”

“Okay. Wait, this isn’t the usual start up menu! What’s it say? ‘Netflix?’”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s broken.”

“You know, Kwelgrup’s Slide Screen broke too, and they just bought a 5D V.2 Switchback…”

 

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Mistake

I made a mistake today. My funniest one yet.

Apparently, dishwashers require different detergent to the detergent one would usually use to hand wash dishes. This was not clear to me when I squirted copious amounts of dishwashing detergent into the dishwasher today.

I turned around when someone said, “I think you put too much detergent in.”

White, fluffy bubbles were streaming out of the dishwasher through the crack at the bottom of the door. They were everywhere.

It was highly amusing. I’ll never be allowed to forget it.

It’ll be a good story to tell the grandkids someday, I’m sure.

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I’ve Found My Secret Talent

I’ve been searching for a while.

My older sister Beanz is freaky good at bowling.

One of my guy friends can do three pullups, no training or anything.

My (not so) secret talent is swinging.

Like on swings.

At the park.

(My other secret is that I’m actually a four year old on the inside.)

I’ve always loved playing on the swings. I learnt the most effective manouvre for optimal height when I was five. Tried it out a few days ago – I still got it.

Do you have a secret talent?

Xx Loony

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