2016, writing

As If

In a body that is all edges
There walks a young girl
Wielding a sledgehammer in her own personal hall of mirrors
As if seven years bad luck
Could hardly be worse than this
Because cutting herself on the crystal shards
Seems preferable to piercing her skin on her own jutting collarbones
And the glares of people who could never understand.

In a brain full of answers
There sits a young boy
Who builds an elaborate machine
To solve the ultimate question
That of life and love and purpose
And whether any of it is worth anything after all
He places the last screw with care
And weeps
Because as if this this convoluted apparatus
Can fix its broken creator counterpart.

In a house full of condescension
There stands a young boy
Pumping iron and despairing that it will never be enough
As if bulging calves and pecs and biceps
Will convince his mother’s new favourite guy to stop emphasising what a pathetic, worthless, freak he is
And he knows his efforts are fruitless
And that what his mother’s new favourite guy says is true
But he keeps pumping iron anyway
As if dumbbells have the power to change anything
As if hurt can remedy hurt

As if being idolised is better than being loved;

As if pain is really the price of beauty;

As if the perfect person
In the perfect life
Is really very perfect at all.

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Pruning My Life

There are two words hanging around my head and my life that I don’t need anymore. Not because they’re inherently bad, and please don’t thing that if you’ve used these words with me, that it was necessarily a mistake. It’s just that in light of a new year approaching, I need to prune my life, a little bit. So.

Cute
The word ‘cute’ is perfectly fine for puppies, and little heart-shaped erasers, and other small, vulnerable things. But I don’t like seeing myself as small or vulnerable. I like strong better. I like determined better. I like crazy, weird, wacko, psycho, odd, better. Anything but cute, really, because it makes me feel underestimated, and I’m not down with that. I work too hard and I strive too far and I do too much to settle for cute.

Enough
Sorry, kids, but this word is bullshit. We all know it. It always seems to have a question mark on the end when it’s floating around my head.
“Have I studied enough?”
“Is this good enough?”
“Am I working hard enough?”
“Did I say sorry enough?”
“Am I enough?”

And when it gets down to answer time, I always come up with, “I’m not enough.”

I’m over it.

Just so you know, both you and I are enough, and that’s the last time I’ll use the word, because we are more than that.

We are significant.
We are loved.
We are outstanding.
We are such majestic displays of sparkling wonder that our rainbow-glitter capes glint in the sun and blind the haters.

I’m not just cute. I’m not just enough.

I am – we all are – more than this. I mean, if you like these words, go ahead, good luck to you. I’m just saying, don’t settle for imperfect adjectives.

Oh yes, that would make a great bumper sticker.

Xx Loony

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The Quote Challenge: Day 1

Thankyou to https://amommasview.wordpress.com for nominating me for the quote challenge!

The rules are:
– publish a good quote a day for three consecutive days
– thank the person who nominated you
– nominate three others to do the challenge.

For today:

“ It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.”

– John Green, Paper Towns

I know Paper Towns is blowing up in cinema’s at the moment, so I’m doing my absolute best to avoid being a cliche. But I think this book, and all the words in it, are very important. The book taught me a lot about people. I appreciated that.

Xx Loony

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Who Wants Bookish T-Shirts!?

Guys… Check it out!! Losing my mind here :D

Johnny Reads

*raises hand emphatically*

I’ve only ever had one bookish shirt in my life. It was a simple bookshelf that was actually kind of ugly. The shirt was brown. But I wore it until it no longer fit. And now every once in a blue moon I’ll search the internet for a unique-looking bookish shirt and I’m always disappointed. The designs are too simple. Or the designs are just unappealing. So I decided yesterday to see if I could create one that I’d be proud to wear myself. And I definitely accomplished that much.

I used Teespring. It’s a site that lets you run a “campaign” for shirts, hoodies, or tank tops. Since it’s a campaign, there is a minimum that have to be sold in order for the shirts to be printed, otherwise no one gets anything. *sad face* And there’s a set amount of time for sales to take…

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Silly Questions

Hiya!!

I’ve stumbled upon some interesting quotes and the like that fill me right up with joy – quotes about living life and being unique and things. This got me thinking about how the silly questions can sometimes tell you a lot about a person and their life experiences. So I devised a list of questions – mostly strange and delightful – that I will be answering, and passing on.

What is your opinion on hats?
I don’t mind hats on the whole, they just look awful on me. I have short hair that gets sweaty and flat and ew when I clamp a hat on.. but if you like wearing hats, go ahead. A-HEAD, get it??
If you had to wear an animal on your head for the rest of your life, what animal would it be?
A hedgehog, for multiple reasons. 1, I believe hedgehogs to be very motivating and inspirational little buddies who would encourage me with their little squeaky voices; 2, I’m pretty sure those little fuzzy bellies are warm and snuggly and my beanie comes with a massage feature so come at me; 3, because having a small, spiky ninja on your head is badass and we could rule the world.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Flight. I don’t know how, with wings probably (and preferably.) I’ve been trying to manage flying since I was 2, so yah, flight. 
What are your favourite and least favourite words?
Ooooooh. For favourite I’d say something juicy like ‘despise’. So much richer than ‘hate,’ no? Or something silly like ‘fickle.’ I don’t know least favourite but I do always say ‘bathroom’ instead of ‘toilet’ when the topic arises. ‘Toilet’ sounds vulgar. 
If regular walking in public was illegal, how would you get places?    
I would skip. Obviously.

I would like to pass on these questions to the beautiful Z, of I Prefer Deep Blues and Sea Foam Greens (https://deepbluesandseafoamgreens.wordpress.com/) and the cool MrFancyAnimator over at InternetSquared (https://internetsquared.wordpress.com/), and you guys can pass them on when you’re done too. Can’t wait to see what you guys come up with!!

:)

Xx Loony

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