The Children Are Cactuses

I tap your shoulder
You start, almost spilling your tea into the sunrise.
The children, they’re-”
The corners of your mouth sag in grim anticipation.
“Darling, the children are cactuses.”

And you must be seeing every corner of the world reflected in that mug,
Because your brow knits
Like it does when I ask you what you believe in.

You set down your tea,
And now it’s my turn to sigh resignedly,
Because I know you.
You start,
And my eyes meet yours.
“Are you only just noticing?”

And I intake a breath,
Because I’m about to say something,
Something decidedly profound.

I’m about to say,
Of course not.
Of course I noticed the way their stares hardened in the cold,
Of course I saw their tears dribble onto their cheeks like war paint
For a battle they could never win.
Of course I saw them slowly stop moving,
Like they’re afraid of being seen.
Of course I saw them shrink into the negative space between now and then,
Accepting undignified defeat
At the greedy hands of the universe.

Of course I fucking noticed.”

But that isn’t what I say at all.
The breath I drew in
Shudders out of me,
And I crumple like a wet paper bag.

You fold me into your chest,
And you don’t mind that your tea is getting as cold as the world is,
And you don’t mind that my tears are turning your jumper into a Pollock.
And you don’t mind that I can scarcely manage a whisper when I say,
“I want to water them. It seems like the right thing to do.

Too much water can kill a cactus, you know.”

You squeeze my shoulders tighter then,
And bury your wet eyes in my hair.

And muffled, you murmur,
“If only the world hadn’t cried on them quite so much.”


On Beauty

​Sometimes, when the world holds you down for a while, you forget how beautiful people are. 

I saw so many people today, and they reminded me. 

I saw someone with piercings, a hooded tank top, and cropped, blue hair. And I thought, this person is beautiful

I saw three men in business wear, one with a wide green tie, one with his sleeves rolled to the elbow, one with his top button popped open. And I thought, these men are beautiful

I saw a girl in a hijab the colour of a peach, her eye-liner sharper than a knife, her contour better than anything I’d ever seen. And I thought, this girl is beautiful

The hope, the empowerment, the subtlety of a smile – these things awakened in me a light, shining on all the wonderful things around me. 

And it doesn’t matter if you don’t wear crop tops and high-waisted shorts, or if you do. 

And it doesn’t matter if you paint yourself with makeup everyday, sometimes, or never. 

And it doesn’t matter if your clothes are made for your gender, or if they’re not. 

You exist in a world that tries to hold you down. You shine in the darkness of misplaced hope, of disappointment and frustration. You live a life only you could lead, drawn to things only you can understand. 

You, friend, are beautiful

New Year, Old Me

And so, 2016 is about ready to be flushed down the toilet. 

I won’t whinge about how awful it was. You know how awful it was. Everyone knows how awful it was. 

I’m not entirely finished being angry about the events of the year, but I am ready to climb into 2017 and dig for gold. 

New Year’s Resolutions are notorious for making you feel guilty about your lack of willpower. I do it anyway, because I’m obstinate, but I’m not climbing into a new skin this year like so many try to. My skin is okay with me. 

So: resolutions based on renovations, instead of knock-down-rebuild. 

1. Stop apologising for my coffee order just because it’s long to say and kind of pretentious. I am a barista – it’s not actually hard to make. I’m paying for the coffee. The apology is unnecessary.  

2. Stop ducking my head when I walk past people. It’s almost like I’m ashamed to look people in the eye, or ashamed of people looking me in the eye. Honestly, it probably comes off as being rude. Stop doubting that I’m worth looking at. 

3. Stop swearing when I don’t need to be swearing. Like when I’m not angry, just mild annoyed. Also: improve vocabulary of angry words. 

4. Start accumulating healthy self care practices. Like going for walks. Not like browsing Facebook for two hours. 

5. Start showing more daily compassion. I live one time. My friends deserve to know that I love them. 
I think 5 is as many as I can realistically manage. And that’s okay with me. 

2017 might be shit. We can’t predict anything, really. But I’m working on me this year, and hopefully everything else will fall into place. Or it won’t, and I can practice being okay with that. 

I have 11 minutes to go, and some profanities to yell into the void. 

Have a very happy new year. 

Xx Loony 

Loony’s Biz Needs You!

For almost a month, Loony’s Biz has showcased a display of self-care, love and hope in the form of Paper Bag Poems. A new poem every day gives me an outlet to express my hopes, dreams and mantras for life.

I’m stunned to have gained such a following for these poems – every time I post one, I get a series of happy emails to tell me one of you has seen, read and liked my poem. This appreciation is part of the reason I keep writing. To know that I’ve moved even one person is what makes it all worth it.

To keep Loony’s Biz going, growing and improving, I need your help. So when you read the next Loony’s Biz post that you like…

If you have 5 Seconds – Like

Hit like! There’s a little button at the bottom of every post. Nothing is better than knowing I’ve written something that people enjoyed reading.

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Loony’s Biz starts and finishes on this wee site, but this year, began reaching into other areas of social media. If you enjoy what you see here, you might also like what Loony’s Biz shares and posts on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. Some content is exclusive to each platform, so follow Loony’s Biz on all of them and never miss a minute! Follow Loony’s Biz on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr today!

If You Have 3 Minutes – Email Loony’s Biz

Shoot me an email! Building a community is a fundamental part of Loony’s Biz, so send me an email and introduce yourself – who you are, how you found the blog, your funniest story from the zoo – whatever! The crème de la crème would be ideas on how Loony’s Biz can improve and expand, so if you have any ideas – guests posts, interviews, giveaways, anything that you think Loony’s Biz should get on board with, let me know!

There are likely to be some interesting developments in the future, including different ways for you to get involved with Loony’s Biz – so stay tuned!

Xx Loony